Periods are normal. Go with the flow.

It was another day in high school. I found my classmate wailing in the lobby and embarrassingly hiding the red spots on backside of her snow-white skirt by a sweater. She was in terrible pain and horrified about what was happening. Teacher choose to inform her parents and sent her home back. On the same evening, I talked about the entire incident to my Mom. That is when she explained me about the menstruation (publicly preferred to call as chums, periods or that time of the month) process in her own way and said that I will also start experiencing it soon. It was very awkward but I knew that at least I won’t be scared when it happens to me.

After few months, we visited my Nani’s place for summer vacation. I was playing in backyard with my cousins when I experienced cramps in my stomach. It was different than the stomach pain I ever had. I went to washroom and figured out some blood spots inside my underwear. I quickly ran to my mom. She seemed very happy about it and shared it with all my aunts. Within no time, evening was turned into a celebration. They made me sit on a chaurang (square stool used for pujas). Mom did my puja and mami gave me some delicious laddus to eat. I felt important.

After 28 days when I was menstruating again, I was asked to sit separately and not to touch anyone for next 72 hours. I was not allowed to sit on the dinner table along with everyone else, no entry in kitchen, mandir or even garden. My Nani asked me to take care that even my shadow should not fall on the freshly made pickles and papad drying in terrace or else it will get spoilt. My brothers started teasing me for the whole “do not touch” situation. One who accidently touches me, got a sprinkle of gold water all over his body or had to a take a bath. I felt embarrassed but I couldn’t do anything about it.

I grew up only to realize that menstruation is normal and just another lifecycle for womankind. When you menstruate, the lining of the uterus is shed. The fluid consists majorly of blood, tissues and nutrients which will be otherwise used to develop a fetus if your egg gets fertilized. The blood you menstruate is just as “clean” as the venous blood that comes from every other part of the body. In Vedic times, it was considered as a natural biological process that need not be considered as an impurity. In fact, there was no ban on performing the most sacred mahayagna during menstruation.

On the contrary, all the man-made religions (except Sikhism) consider a fertile menstruating woman as ritually unclean and anyone or anything she comes in contact with will be unclean. In the modern society, elders explain that most women suffer from a lot of pain so to take rest from house chores such provision was made. But are we really getting rest while sleeping on those uncomfortable floor beds, washing utensils and clothes or achieving peace of mind with a convenient ban every month? When asked, some girls say that they don’t believe in it but did it out of respect for customs, but is it really worth it or are we happily passing sexism to the next generation?

There is a big question mark on my face when I am asked to stay isolated during menstruation even today especially when we are well equipped to maintain good hygiene. There is nothing dirty about it and we should accept that with pride. Campaigns such as #happytobleed gives hope and makes me believe that basically what women want is treating them normal and feel accepted.

Girls, it is a high time when we should stop following and passing rituals blindly and analyze its impact on ourselves first. What is your opinion on this topic? Feel free to share over fembanter@gmail.com